Saturday, June 04, 2011

Shitty Dad

Ok... it's been a week!
What a mess!
All I can say is that I understand better what it must feel like to get hit by a train.

My dignity... my reputation... my love of baseball... poof... all gone in a flash!
Perhaps I should break these down:

As far as my love of baseball... well it's no secret I've always sucked at sports. I've only got the one eye so lacking depth perception makes it so I suck at hitting and catching (doesn't help that I'm also fat and uncoordinated). Mostly I participate at the beer level. Upside: Think of all the money I'm going to save this year in NOT supporting the Dodgers. There's a bad vibe I get from that place. I'll watch it for free at home from the safety of my couch (I'm sure those McCorts are turning some kinda dime selling my fat ugly face all over the world... seriously... they aren't getting another cent from me... for at least a week or two).

My reputation... erff... my friends should still be my friends and my enemies will probably still be my enemies. I draw cartoons for a living... what's more cartoonish then becoming an internet sensation by being an idiot in public? I mean... it's not like I'm a senator screwing around on my spouse... it's not like I've got an STD.... It's not like a DUI... Morally I'm better than 90% of Hollywood. I took my kids to a baseball game and dropped a ball. No big deal. Sure I dropped a kid too... but she's been through worse than that and god only knows we're raising a generation of pussies... what's with a tiny bump on the arse? Since when is spending time with your kids a bad thing, drop or no drop? Anybody who begs to differ can find me at my house in Playa Del Rey... I'm all ears. I love my kids. They love me. That's all the Reputation I need. Upside to this: I believe in setting the bar for expectations LOW... Worked for my marriage... been steady for 14 or 15 years... or maybe 10 or 11... I dunno... like I said... LOW EXPECTATIONS. Short of getting caught breeding dogs to fight, or getting raped by a pigeon... after this fiasco I probably can't look any more stupid. I'm a hairy, walleyed Canadian who can't dance. The fact that I'm getting close to 40 is a victory on its own.

Dignity? Fat white middle aged guy--- tiny, tiny, tiny dick. This is nothing. Whatever ounce of dignity has been scattered should be back up to normal by the time I get to my next Dell Taco bowel movement. Those always make me proud.

Yeah. You may notice I'm getting a little blue on this one. Hell yeah. I've been feeling crappy all week. Like a victim. A shrinking violet. All drunk and emotional. Well... I needed to write it out. This isn't Facebook. This isn't Fox, Good Morning America, Sports Center, or You Tube. I can't control what happens out there. If you want to read what I have to say, then read. If you hate it... at least you'll be responding to an IDEA that I put into the world. All that video shows is that I'm crappy at sports. Which is very true. That's why I draw for a living. I use my brain. I think.

So... there we go. To the four of you who may find this on my dusty old blog.... Howdy! Thanks for dropping by.
My 15 minutes have been used up. It wasn't all bad of course... some nice stuff was said too. It's all good in the end. Really weird, strange week. Glad it's over.


Louis-Philippe said...

Hey there! Really glad to read this post. Read it twice actually. Even though we've never met, I was really worried when I read the stub you wrote in the middle of the night the other day. I didn't know what you were talking about but it sounded BAD.

I haven't seen the video and I don't plan to look for it on Youtube. All I know is that it'll be completely forgotten by the world by the end of the month. Just don't give up.

Focus on what matters: your kids love you and you are awesome at what you do, drawing pictures.

Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

From a youtube commenter: "Clearly he saw the ball coming towards them and shielded the child behind the wall. He then used his hand to block the ball from his family. he is a hero."

KP said...

You are so right Anonymous! I failed to mention all the nice stuff that was said too... my bad!

Hey... just saw Tree of Life last night... amazing film. Epic! Puts it all into perspective (not that I claim to understand Malick... he's a genius)... it's a beautiful piece of art. It deserves attention!


Bernard Joaquin said...


One of my friends just sent me the video.

I love this. I guess people seeing that video for the first time might think you are a Bad Daddy. But the ones who know you know that you are really a good one.
It could have been worst you could have use her to catch the ball. I think the sportman inside you leaped out during that split second of you attempting to catch the ball.

I been drop a couple of times as a kid and I turned out ok..right?
But my parents were never caught on camera.

Anyway Kris Honestly your one of the best dads I know. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Happy Father's Day!

You can still bring them to a Basketball game.

chengwhich said...

I’m so sorry that you had such a shitty week.

But all I know is that I got to meet you once at CTN, and have you look over some of my stuff. You were very gracious and that was definitely a huuuuuuge highlight for me!

Plus, I really, really, really love Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs(I’m thinking of all the awesome scenes in my head right now, but I’ll spare listing them out for you. ok, maybe one -- rat birds! :P)!!!!

Robyn Liebschner said...

I'm sorry to hear your week has been so down. On the plus side it's one to tell your kid when she's older :)

I like your wife's perspective too, it won't effect you in the long run. I know you probably don't need a complete stranger telling you that.
I hope you feel better next week, I suggest happy films and angel cake with a cup of tea (A recipe for happiness if you ask me)

Glennard said...

Dude, you are the man. If all of our embarrassments were public, right?

All I know is, you're an honest man, AMAZING story artist/director, and loving father. Your kids are lucky to grow up with you as their dad.

Kathleen said...

It'll blow over. :-)

Mark said...

Hey Kris,
Shitty luck man!
But it's awesome to see that not only are you completely sincere about it, you're able to make fun of yourself. In my mind, that really speaks to your character and what a great guy you are.

I think a lesser person would have given in to anger and wasted time and energy arguing with losers on you tube.

Stay well man
All the best

KP said...

Ha! Thanks all!
Mark... how can I argue when they're right about so much... Calling a donkey an ass is pretty much a given. I'm not sure how it becomes news... fuck I hope Obama gets the war on.
Tornados anybody?
How about an earthquake?
A chunk of ceiling falls on my head and I bet you 10 bucks nobody would give a shit!

Andrés Alvarez said...

Oh That Sucks, I just saw it derp* well it's just one of those in the moment things your an awesome person and things happen. So keep your head up and as long as your family loves you that's all that really matters:-)


Bill Robinson said...

Aw, man that is shitty. I had to watch the video just to see how bad it was...and turns out it's really not bad at all. The kid was fine. Did they really have a security guard come talk to you?! That is ridiculous. And those FOX commentators really need to get a life. Life goes on!

Arna said...

Hey Kris! You did good- the way I see it twas better to drop her gently than to let her be hit in the head with the ball.

It's a funny moment, and as far as I can tell your daughter got over it pretty fast and your wife is busy knitting so she's not too concerned. You guys seem like a sweet family.

Plus: You really know how to rise above the humiliation! Those years of pitching storyboards and suffering through scathing critiques has paid off. ;)


Bobby Chiu said...

Hey Kris, You sir are awesome. The true sign that you're an awesome dad is that your daughter was smiling in no time. To me it shows the kind of healthy relationship you have with her.

People that give negative comments should drop their kid and see how long it takes the child to forgive their parent. I'm sure you'd win that contest :)

Blair Kitchen said...

I don't know how you do it, Kris. You drop your daughter and you still look likeable on camera.

I love the strip too.... you should really get into storyboarding or something...... oh, wait......

You're a good man, Kris.

Marcelo Vignali said...

Dude, who cares what people-who-don't-know-you think? Now, if your family thinks your a bad-dad, then I'd worry -- they're the only ones that really matter. Even my opinion that you're a good-dad doesn't really matter.

Besides, I've been dropped a few times -- I've even got a crack in my arse to prove it.

Anonymous said...

Bruce Tinnin said...

I don't think anyone would have known it was you...?
Anyway, I think your only mistake was having her on your lap at a ballgame!

Luv ya, Bro!


Bruce Tinnin said...

Let me rephrase that.
"Main mistake"...


KP said...

Thanks all! Anonymous... That's fantastic.... I love the wit in banksy's lack of wit! Sums the whole thing up brilliantly!

Oh and Bruce... If half the mistakes I've made were caught on camera out of context... I shudder at the thought! Stella can vouch for that. This was such a non event... I'm amazed that it went as far as it did. Dunno. Maybe this is still left over bad karma from a dog bite eh?

thanks all for dropping by.

Joey Lee said...

The first thing i thought of when watching the video was not that you were a bad dad, but how embarrassed you look after realizing you dropped your daughter. Unfortunately we live in an age where a simple mistake can be broadcast to millions of people in a nanosecond. I guess we just have to remind ourselves not to let the opinions of strangers define who you are.

Although, i don't know you, i've been following your blog on and off for the past few years, and just thought I'd put my two cents in. You are extremely talented, and have a lovely family.

Sabrina Alberghetti said...

I'm with everyone on here. Anyone who actually KNOWS you, knows what a great friend, teacher and father you are. I think the most embarrassing thing to come of this silly video, are all the negative and harsh comments made by people who are so quick to judge somebody they don't even know.

Jess said...

Kris, it's a storm in a teacup. I have no idea what you're talking about and neither does anyone outside America! Youtube commentators are surely the lowest common denominator, they'd have a bad word to say about Ghandi.
That's right Kris, I'm comparing you to Ghandi. St Pearn, ta-daaa! You're king of your castle, sod the rest.
Great strip!