Saturday, June 04, 2011
Ok... it's been a week!
What a mess!
All I can say is that I understand better what it must feel like to get hit by a train.
My dignity... my reputation... my love of baseball... poof... all gone in a flash!
Perhaps I should break these down:
As far as my love of baseball... well it's no secret I've always sucked at sports. I've only got the one eye so lacking depth perception makes it so I suck at hitting and catching (doesn't help that I'm also fat and uncoordinated). Mostly I participate at the beer level. Upside: Think of all the money I'm going to save this year in NOT supporting the Dodgers. There's a bad vibe I get from that place. I'll watch it for free at home from the safety of my couch (I'm sure those McCorts are turning some kinda dime selling my fat ugly face all over the world... seriously... they aren't getting another cent from me... for at least a week or two).
My reputation... erff... my friends should still be my friends and my enemies will probably still be my enemies. I draw cartoons for a living... what's more cartoonish then becoming an internet sensation by being an idiot in public? I mean... it's not like I'm a senator screwing around on my spouse... it's not like I've got an STD.... It's not like a DUI... Morally I'm better than 90% of Hollywood. I took my kids to a baseball game and dropped a ball. No big deal. Sure I dropped a kid too... but she's been through worse than that and god only knows we're raising a generation of pussies... what's with a tiny bump on the arse? Since when is spending time with your kids a bad thing, drop or no drop? Anybody who begs to differ can find me at my house in Playa Del Rey... I'm all ears. I love my kids. They love me. That's all the Reputation I need. Upside to this: I believe in setting the bar for expectations LOW... Worked for my marriage... been steady for 14 or 15 years... or maybe 10 or 11... I dunno... like I said... LOW EXPECTATIONS. Short of getting caught breeding dogs to fight, or getting raped by a pigeon... after this fiasco I probably can't look any more stupid. I'm a hairy, walleyed Canadian who can't dance. The fact that I'm getting close to 40 is a victory on its own.
Dignity? Fat white middle aged guy--- tiny, tiny, tiny dick. This is nothing. Whatever ounce of dignity has been scattered should be back up to normal by the time I get to my next Dell Taco bowel movement. Those always make me proud.
Yeah. You may notice I'm getting a little blue on this one. Hell yeah. I've been feeling crappy all week. Like a victim. A shrinking violet. All drunk and emotional. Well... I needed to write it out. This isn't Facebook. This isn't Fox, Good Morning America, Sports Center, or You Tube. I can't control what happens out there. If you want to read what I have to say, then read. If you hate it... at least you'll be responding to an IDEA that I put into the world. All that video shows is that I'm crappy at sports. Which is very true. That's why I draw for a living. I use my brain. I think.
So... there we go. To the four of you who may find this on my dusty old blog.... Howdy! Thanks for dropping by.
My 15 minutes have been used up. It wasn't all bad of course... some nice stuff was said too. It's all good in the end. Really weird, strange week. Glad it's over.