Thursday, June 30, 2011
OK... My scanner at home is broken so I've been sneaking away to do this at work... hence the dribs and drabs of posts.
How are you doing?
Really... How are YOU doing?
I've been a little down, but I'm feeling better now. I was surprised when the package came in the mail. I was so excited! I followed the instructions to the letter (except the bit about the 10W30, which was inconveniently NOT included in the box, so I substituted corn syrup and it seemed to work fine). The hammer really helped. Thanks for sending that too. After the install I slept for a long time. I must apologize because one of the shrews escaped (how did you get them so well behaved in the bubble wrap. I didn't think the post office would ship live cargo... of course, that's probably why you went with Fed Ex). Anyway, once I woke up, the first thing I did was change the bandages and clean the hammer. The swelling was bad, but other than that, I felt great and it was just like the picture on the box. Amazing. You are, indeed, a good friend to think of me in these troubling times. As soon as I can get a shoe on that leg, I'll take a drive up the coast to see you and we'll knock a few beers down for old times sake, eh! War stories and Kool Aid kicks. Like the good old days back home in Albany. Before the Kiwis came and we all had to start eating sheep.
So have you heard from Annie?
I hope her face has healed.
See you on the moon.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
It's a nice morning in LA... some June gloom on the beach to cool it all down... makes for good dog walking. Don't think the dog pays attention to the weather one way or the other... so long as there's someplace to pooh and something to sniff. If life could be so simple!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Ok... it's been a week!
What a mess!
All I can say is that I understand better what it must feel like to get hit by a train.
My dignity... my reputation... my love of baseball... poof... all gone in a flash!
Perhaps I should break these down:
As far as my love of baseball... well it's no secret I've always sucked at sports. I've only got the one eye so lacking depth perception makes it so I suck at hitting and catching (doesn't help that I'm also fat and uncoordinated). Mostly I participate at the beer level. Upside: Think of all the money I'm going to save this year in NOT supporting the Dodgers. There's a bad vibe I get from that place. I'll watch it for free at home from the safety of my couch (I'm sure those McCorts are turning some kinda dime selling my fat ugly face all over the world... seriously... they aren't getting another cent from me... for at least a week or two).
My reputation... erff... my friends should still be my friends and my enemies will probably still be my enemies. I draw cartoons for a living... what's more cartoonish then becoming an internet sensation by being an idiot in public? I mean... it's not like I'm a senator screwing around on my spouse... it's not like I've got an STD.... It's not like a DUI... Morally I'm better than 90% of Hollywood. I took my kids to a baseball game and dropped a ball. No big deal. Sure I dropped a kid too... but she's been through worse than that and god only knows we're raising a generation of pussies... what's with a tiny bump on the arse? Since when is spending time with your kids a bad thing, drop or no drop? Anybody who begs to differ can find me at my house in Playa Del Rey... I'm all ears. I love my kids. They love me. That's all the Reputation I need. Upside to this: I believe in setting the bar for expectations LOW... Worked for my marriage... been steady for 14 or 15 years... or maybe 10 or 11... I dunno... like I said... LOW EXPECTATIONS. Short of getting caught breeding dogs to fight, or getting raped by a pigeon... after this fiasco I probably can't look any more stupid. I'm a hairy, walleyed Canadian who can't dance. The fact that I'm getting close to 40 is a victory on its own.
Dignity? Fat white middle aged guy--- tiny, tiny, tiny dick. This is nothing. Whatever ounce of dignity has been scattered should be back up to normal by the time I get to my next Dell Taco bowel movement. Those always make me proud.
Yeah. You may notice I'm getting a little blue on this one. Hell yeah. I've been feeling crappy all week. Like a victim. A shrinking violet. All drunk and emotional. Well... I needed to write it out. This isn't Facebook. This isn't Fox, Good Morning America, Sports Center, or You Tube. I can't control what happens out there. If you want to read what I have to say, then read. If you hate it... at least you'll be responding to an IDEA that I put into the world. All that video shows is that I'm crappy at sports. Which is very true. That's why I draw for a living. I use my brain. I think.
So... there we go. To the four of you who may find this on my dusty old blog.... Howdy! Thanks for dropping by.
My 15 minutes have been used up. It wasn't all bad of course... some nice stuff was said too. It's all good in the end. Really weird, strange week. Glad it's over.